Commenter AI asked in the Comments:
So: break up (the whole ‘I want more’ convo, short and nice and not bitter; this was not proceeded by extensive convos on it, as our stances were previously understood). Month later I agree to dinner. Part of the convo, a request from him to take a weekend out of town to discuss: 1, my interest/belief/whatever in more and 2, his reasons for his position. Admittedly, it is half a request for me to change his mind, and half maybe a closure convo (to lead to friendship). This does sound like emotional manipulation, but I don’t so.
What do you think, falls your no closure area, or more towards on-off-again nature of some relationships, or what?
I wrote back:
He wants to bang you again
There is no way to determine whether your insistence upon “discussing” your relationship caused it to end. This is a control freak tendency among women who seek always to define things with WORDS and not actions. He was likely thinking “I’m HERE with you…what else do you want?”.
If you WANT this relationship to continue I suggest taking the weekend and REFUSING TO DISCUSS YOUR RELATIONSHIP AT ALL EVEN IF HE TRIES TO BRING IT UP! Tell him you just want HIM to relax and have fun and enjoy his company and then BE FUN. You have to make yourself indispensable to a man–he has to see you as NOT FUNGIBLE with every other woman on earth. You can accomplish this by letting go of your female needs that are inimical to his nature, by being sweet, making him feel significant in a world that may be always trying to tear him down. Take the weekend to make yourself his OASIS, not an added source of work and pressure. This is a GIANT MISTAKE women make–men’s lives are hard, why are you ADDING pressure to that?