Taylor Swift as a Sign of the Coming Boomer Apocalypse

OneStdv, who apparently wakes up every day thinking about the same things I do, has written an interesting post on the spectacle of Chris Robinson criticizing the lovely Taylor Swift for being too clean-cut and “corporate”, I guess–for her lack of hipster “authenticity”–that revolting relic of the Baby Boomer experience that launched 1000 doomed junkies to fame.  It is another part of the Boomer Cargo Cult–the attempt to ALWAYS have a Jim Morrison or Janis Joplin hanging around waiting to die so a new generation can have it’s moment.  There also always has to be a properly Political Band à la the Fugs or the Clash–so enter the punk Tribute Band Green Day, stage left. 

I bet a million Boomers actually wish Obama would get assassinated so we can all repeat the Kennedy experience they have tried to Photoshop over President Tarball HNIC and the Imperial family since they dressed the ridiculously steatopygian Michelle up as Jackie O and tried to force us all to believe she was beautiful and glamorous because she had a flip and toned arms.  The popularity of a performer like Taylor Swift is a reminder to every aging Boomer of his impending cultural irrelevance; that they cannot keep their death grip on every facet of American Life, from the culture to the workplace to the Government, forever.

The notion that popular music ever has or ever WILL revolve around the Jim Morrison tortured artist paradigm is patently ludicrous on its face anyway.  This is  just another example of how the Art Critic’s favorite narratives end up being mouthed by regular people.  In the same way “The Blair Witch Project” was oversold to the public as a “great” movie by pretentious art fags mouthing film student and critic’s memes when in fact it was of interest only to nascent filmmakers for its (at the time) groundbreaking cinéma vérité style and use of handheld DV.

Watching the Top 100 One Hit Wonders of the 80’s on VH1 last night, I was struck by how sweet, romantic and clean so many of the top songs were.  How perfectly traditional they were, even though they hid it behind what AT THE TIME, people forget, was outrageously nouveau sounding fancy electronic music, like A-Has “Take On Me”.  Some of it didn’t even hide behind that, the song “Come on, Eileen” was #1 on the list:

a BANJO and FIDDLE for christ’s sake!

A simple love song from a boy to a girl, played with traditional instruments. #1. No junkies, no sleaze, no “angst”.  God, no wonder the revolting ex-hippies and Leftists hated the 80’s so much.  From what I can tell the newer generation of kids love the 80’s and are most likely going to grow up finding all things associated with the tortured-rock-star-as-artist and junky embarrassing and old-fashioned and gay.

_________________

All that being said, here’s some more of what I was actually listening to in the 80’s as an annoying Proto-Hipster Douchebag

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18 Responses to Taylor Swift as a Sign of the Coming Boomer Apocalypse

  1. PA says:

    Some random thoughts:

    Was Jim Morisson really ‘tortured’ or just a guy who dropped too much acid and couldn’t hold his liquor? He did, however, have a sensuous photogenic face and an utter lack of word-flow inhibition as a writer of poetry. But Manzarek and Krieger were the main reason The Doors moved beyond bar band status. Drummer John Densmore’s autobiography is a good read.

    An eighties version of Taylor Swift was Debbie Gibson. Pretty voice, wholesome persona, wrote her own songs. I still like “Lost in your Eyes.” Unfortunately after her teens she rode into oblivion in her efforts to tartify her image. Presetnly she is a huge gay ‘marriage’ activist in San Francisco.

    Is ther any truth to the rumor that Dexey’s Midnight Riders ware a WN band?

    Hard Rock power ballads from late 80s thru 92 are underappreciated. From epic high-concept stuff like Guns and Roses (November Rain, Patience) to hidden gems like Kix (Don’t Close Your Eyes), Faster Pussycat (House of Pain — to all you single mothers out there) and Steelheart (I’ll never let you Go.)

    Apparently to Baby Boomers and sectors of our arts industry, “sheltered,” aka Taylor Swift, is synonymous with “not Lindsay Lohan.”

  2. dana says:

    dude, i took like 100 hits of acid between 1985 and 1989 and it didn’t make me write gay poetry and brood around like a pretentious queer

  3. dana says:

    why wont the comment threads get fixed? i keep trying to change it

    • PA says:

      you mean the comment thread running from top to bottom? it seems to be the norm on blogs; I don’t have a problem with it. I get confused with new comments showing up at the top.

  4. PA says:

    Yeah, and I’m on permanent moderation at Roissy going on a year now. I don’t think the proprietors have a problem with me so it must be some annoying wordpress thing.

  5. 10stds says:

    Jim Morrison oozed sex appeal. As far as this: ”I bet a million Boomers actually wish Obama would get assassinated so we can all repeat the Kennedy experience they have tried to Photoshop over President Tarball HNIC and the Imperial family since they dressed the ridiculously steatopygian Michelle up as Jackie O and tried to force us all to believe she was beautiful and glamorous because she had a flip and toned arms.”

    Jackie O was NOT a naturally beautiful woman. Her face was asymmetrical and just downright odd looking. Her saving grace was her fashion sense and her, well, grace – which took planning and effort.

    While Michelle Obama is not “gorgeous” she certainly is not amongst the ugliest of First Ladies.

    As far as her behind, I’m white and I have a well-rounded, toned booty as well, most of us hour-glass figured ladies do.

  6. 10stds says:

    Data to back up my point:

    • dana says:

      did you read a post on a different blog where someone said Jackie O was beautiful? because i said they tried to force us to believe michelle obama was beautiful and dressed her up as jackie o in the campaign season

      and michelle obama doesnt have an hourglass figure she has a big giant schvuggy ghetto bootie thats sickening

  7. 10stds says:

    I thought it was insinuated. Dressing anyone up like Jackie O isn’t going to make them beautiful. It didn’t even make Jackie O beautiful.

    Michelle Obama is in fit physical condition. She cannot change her “ghetto booty” as you call it, because that is genetic. It’s not “ghetto booty” but rather a genetic trait that many Africans and their descendents possess.

    It can no more be ironed out than an East Asian woman’s flat ass be plumped out.

    People cannot be faulted for what nature endowed – or did not endow.

    Interestingly enough, JFK opted to have an affair with a woman with a – surprise, surprise – bigger ass than his wife’s.

  8. 10stds says:

    Interesing that you describe this song as “sweet, romantic and clean” and, ”A simple love song from a boy to a girl, played with traditional instruments. #1. No junkies, no sleaze, no “angst”.

    I remember was a kid when this song came out and something about the song and the video disturbed my inner values.

    Everything depends on breeding.

    While not fanatically religious, I was raised in what I would call a “pure, wholesome household” and my parents instilled certain values in me.

    Values that conflicted with lines like, ” you in that dress, oh oh thoughts I confess, verge on dirty”

    And the thuggish behaviour towards a young girl displayed in the video starting at around the 1:30 mark as she is walking down the street accompanying a mother and infant.

    Tame by today’s standards? Yes.

    Tame in general? No.

    Tame by my standards? Absolutely not.

    Oh, and Dexy’s midnight runners were huge dex-heads. That’s what they named their band after. So much for the “clean and no junkies” mantra.

    But we all have our sacred cows. For you it’s the 80s. For me, something else.

  9. dana says:

    women’s comments are interesting

  10. 10stds says:

    Indeed……..

  11. Justin says:

    Swift as too corporate? That is a weird inversion. She’s about as authentic and “every girl” as you can possibly get, and she rose up from the bottom out of her own talent and drive, not because of any corporate handling.

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  14. Abelard Lindsey says:

    Yeah, I liked the 80’s as well. The 80’s was a remarkably conservative decade compared to the 70’s or what came after. The music, with the exception of Madonna, was quite clean as well.

  15. dana says:

    madonna is highly misunderstood–many of her most controversial videos and songs until the justify my love era were the opposite of what her critics said. papa dont preach is pro marriage and pro life, just like a prayer is a beautiful rumination on the religious inspiration to do the right think–with a chaste kiss of divine love from the living statue misinterpreted as sexual because it was interracial, watch the video again, its an astonishingly religious work. like a virgin is about the power of LOVE to transform a womans soul, not sex, she did later become sexualized and more whorish

  16. Laura says:

    I like Taylor Swift, she’s cute looking and seems to have a nice, unassuming personality. My baby boomer uncle is a fan. A lot of those rock stars from the late 60’s and early 70’s were heavily into drugs and as PA said that could explain their seemingly tortured artist behavior. Baby boomers have had a disproportionate cultural influence, but it’s definitely on the wane. Most baby boomer are in their 50’s and 60’s now.
    I agree with you dana that many songs from the 80’s seem almost quaint now.

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