Yes, Women ARE Evil, or A Great “Love Story” I Heard at Settlement Yesterday

I’m not usually one for personal anecdotes but what I heard yesterday was so perfect an insight into the minds of women, I had to share.  2-3 months ago I picked up a woman with 2 little kids looking for a house.  I never did get the whole story, but she was in the middle of divorcing her husband even though she was 43 with a 6-year-old son and a new baby.  So long story short, we find a house, she gets ger money and we go to settlement yesterday.  She brings along her best friend of 25 years.  During a lull in the proceedings it comes up that the best friend is married with three stepchildren and the two of them start falling all over themselves to tell me the “amazing love story! I won’t believe it, its SO beautiful!

Apparently, this woman had a boyfriend in and after high school, they were “so in love” and “so perfect for each other” that he wanted to marry her.  She being “too young” (too attractive and still receiving a lot of male attention) wasn’t “ready to get married”.  They go their separate ways–MARRY other people and live their lives.  Meanwhile, many years go by and the woman’s sister finds the man on, yes, you guessed it, Facebook.  She finds out his wife has died.  At this point their faces are glowing as they tell me excitedly “so they found each other and got back together after all that time and they are more in love than ever!!!”.  So I asked her, and you were still married.  She ignored it, they went on a little more with the story–so I tried again, wait, I’m confused, you were still married? Simultaneously, the woman answered “yes, but we had no kids”(looking down)and the friend said “his wife was dead!” (positive, upbeat, excited). 

Obviously I didn’t press it because I was just there to get a check, but the window into an alien mind I received at that table was priceless.  In that final line you can see exactly the mental process by which this women made it OK to discard her own husband for this other man.  That the woman didn’t even attempt to make her husband out as abusive or bad indicated to me he was perfectly fine, just guilty of not being that  other man.  THIS is a woman’s idea of a beautiful love story?  

She probably broke the original man’s heart when he asked her to marry him the first time, which she utterly glossed over, then she simply dropped the other man like a hot potato for him when he cropped up again and why was it ok? Because they “didn’t have KIDS”.  It was ALSO ok because “his WIFE was dead”.  It was like there was a chyron scroll running at the bottom of the “screen” of the story I was watching unfold that said “No Women or Children were harmed during the creation of this Love Story”.  That is how marriage is defined today, solely by how it benefits women and children with absolutely no regard for the wants and needs of men.  The men in this story were literally chess pieces in this woman’s life.  At no point was their an indication they had interior lives of their own, they existed solely as objects in her universe. 

Try to imagine, if you will, two men telling someone a “beautiful love story” about how one man dumps his wife for an old flame?  I’ll wait til you stop laughing…

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24 Responses to Yes, Women ARE Evil, or A Great “Love Story” I Heard at Settlement Yesterday

  1. That was a great love story, I wonder if the newly wed woman will visit the dead one’s grave and thank her for getting the F out of the way?

  2. It’s very common for people leaving a relationship to reframe the entire history of the relationship.

    So year nine… “wow it’s been nine wonderful years I’m so happy”.

    Year ten during the affair…. “I’m just so torn”

    Post divorce…. “he was a wonderful man, but we’re just not the right person for each other. We tired for a long time to make it work.”

  3. Jeff says:

    Most of the women who disregard the interior life of men probably also don’t care much about the inner life & feelings of other WOMEN…but social pressures probably force them to do a better job of pretending that they do in the case of women.

    If the man in your story had still had a living wife, I bet the female protagonist wouldn’t have cared much about her feelings—-but might not have proceded with the divorce and remarriage for fear of social condemnation.

  4. Morsellaux says:

    Self-centered, selfish, empathy-flat as a lid of a can, entitled brats –> self-centered, selfish, empathy-flat as a lid of a can, entitled adults.

    Now, let me generalize a tad…

    Men seem to be able to adjust later by acceptance of reality. Uncertain why, but it is possible that the higher level of mathematical ability and spatial orientation may be instrumental in creating better models of reality. Yes, mileage may vary, but as the mental structure is somewhat flexible and amicable to corrections, it happens.

    Women — The entire model of reality is a construct of their inner world, occupied by army of hamsters. If someone were able to tap into the energy generated by their inner hamsters, our energy needs will be covered many times over.
    Hence, if the initial parameters are based on self-centered, selfish, empathy-flat as a lid of a can, entitled mindset, the construct reflects that to a perfection. If the initial set has a different parameters, say opposites of the set noted above, you may get nearly an angelic critter as a result.

  5. PA says:

    Much of womens’ callousness toward men is enabled by mens’ pedestalization of the female. It begins in preschool. Girls grow up really believing that the backdrop sea of males is there to be… just a backdrop with no will, feelings, or agency of its own.

  6. Laura says:

    I recently experienced a little bit of what PA is talking about. I have two sons who often play with the two girls next door who are the same ages as my kids. The older daughter is a nice kid who plays well with mine, but the younger daughter is a troublemaker and not very nice to my one son. Without boring everyone with the whole story, the girls’ mother seem to believe that my son should just take endless teasing and sometimes physical abuse from her daughter and he is wrong to retaliate. I’m not saying my kid is perfect, but I really don’t want him playing with someone who seems to suffer no consequences for her actions and always has the upper hand just because she is a girl. I really do get the impression that this spoiled little girl feels that because she is a girl and he is a boy she can get him into trouble in a way she knows she won’t be in. Basically the way I’m dealing with it is to severely limit contact between the kids, which is kind of a shame, but this mother has forced me to do this.

  7. dana says:

    hey laura, if you dont mind me asking–whereabouts up our way are you? i was showing houses in hatboro today

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  9. Laura says:

    I’m in Delaware County. Are you in the city?

  10. maurice says:

    Also, the first woman’s check to buy the house must obviously have come from the husband she dumped. What a pair.

    @dana- I think I mentioned this before but I went to business school in Philly. I get up there every once in a while. I trust you have never crossed paths with your nemesis Obsidian (or are you his?) there, based on the fact that the universe has not yet been destroyed by the meeting of two highly charged antiparticles.

  11. Morsellaux says:

    If the initial set has a different parameters, say opposites of the set noted above, you may get nearly an angelic critter as a result.

    Forgotten to add I’ve never seen one. 😉

    Yea, as PA says, the entitlement paradigm starts at early age. Trying to remember when I was a kid… There was this “you never hit the girl”, but there was no “you are verbotten to retaliate, if she hits you first, or of she gets you in a trouble”. Needless to say, my sis never tried to pull some shit. Maybe because I had a majority (identical twins). However, I had a first hand experience with an entitlement–my youngest brother. He was a bit feeble-bodied, and thus was given a lot of slack and of course, he did not hesitate to exploit it. But in time my parents got over it and rolled back the protective mode. He then grew up to be a fine man.

    Boy, memories… In the first grade, me and my twin, we’ve fallen in love with a girl in our class, and so did she. Of course it was platonic (hugging’n’kisses of course), but intense. We spent a lot of time together, playing outside, in sort of a “private” space of ours (close to woods). Her parents noticed that she did not have much interest in playing with girl next door and subjected her to a mental torture of cross-examination. She spilled it and they took her to another school, on the other side of the city. They moved shortly afterward. That was in October I think and we went to an experimental school in another city, it was a boarding school (co-ed, separate dormitory wings), we were there for the rest of the school year. Maybe My parent thought the change of venue would curb our romantic ambitions, but boy! The were quite mistaken! 🙂
    I fell in love (7 years) with a 13 yo girl. As far as I were concerned, the feelings were reciprocated. She had already a nice pair of small soft breasts adoring her chest and was a fun to hug (there were places in the building that allowed unsupervised hugging ;-)).

    Both girls were very feminine in their behavior. I got sick for 2 weeks, Rubeola, and the 13 yo girl was in the hospital section with me every day whenever she could to cheer me up, to read me books or play board games. She pampered me and despite the horrible itch, it was almost like a heaven.

    Were sad to say good bye at the end of the school year, but I already knew there are many, many girls out there, and as summer hit, my mind was set in expectation of new adventures.

    • Morsellaux says:

      Continued…

      Actually, started dating (in training) girlz at the tender age of 4 and half… also time of my first smoke. LOL

      Back to PA’s train of thought… So, the question is… Did I pedestalize them girlz and thusly wrecked their evolving mental/emotional makeup? Maybe a bit of pedestalization was going on. But pedestalization was mutual–at that age you are learning basics and ropes about people’s behavior. As years went by, I’ve noticed a curious thing, more and more consciously–the negs seemed to do the opposite of what would one logically expect, and vice-versa. Admittedly, I’ve broken a few hearts in the process of discovery. I am sure it was not fatal. 😉

  12. Gorbachev says:

    I’ve found that, in general, women have a much more flexible moral compass than men do and that this compass is very personal. Meaning, it’s not absolute. A man who isn’t what the woman expects (no matter how unreasonable) has in effect committed a crime.

    It’s the “what have you done for me lately?” instinct. For a man, a law is usually a law. If challenged successfully, then it’s not the law any more.

    Women just have more moral tracks in their brains and are able to twist them for self-serving purposes (while justifying the result to avoid social costs) more effectively.

    That’s got to be a gendered thing, because I see it all the time.

    I note that the more masculine women I know don’t do this.

    • Morsellaux says:

      Gorby,

      Young SWPL males (liberal persuasion… I don’t think I’ve seen a SWPL male of the opposite persuasion), seem to have this “flexible” compass in spades.

      That creates a bit of conundrum with your theory. Or it may be that the lib SWPL males internalized the female attributes to such a degree that they are almost a new species, chiroptera lunarii metrosexus. (New does not always mean viable. May they all signup as members of VHEMT!)

      • Gorbachev says:

        The difference: They’re white-knighting.

        They white-knight women all the time. It’s just what they do.

  13. Lily says:

    I agree with Morsellaux that male SWPLers have it in spades. I have more male friends having ‘Eat, Love Pray’ moments than women. Both in terms of very early ‘mid life crisis’ and affairs. I don’t think it is whiteknighting because it’s all about them and how they feel rather than the women involved. Forgive me if I’ve misunderstood what you meant by whiteknighting in this interest!

    I do think, however, that dana is right that even men like this would never describe any of these shenanigans in a unstoppable love story way. That’s a particular female thing. They do seem to have a very flexible moral compass on their own actions though.

    I’d say my moral compass is flexible but more to other people, I like to think it’s empathy or seeing different sides to it or understanding that human beings aren’t perfect. I’m quite hard on myself.

  14. dana says:

    when women say “nobody’s perfect” they are about to do something heinous and are pre-excusing it

    your description of this as compassion is apt–and womens “flexible morality” has a place–just not in th eballot box, government, military, boardroom or say, anywhere outside the home where they are trying to get their husbands not to punish their kids too hard

    • Gorbachev says:

      Dana,

      This is exactly correct:

      when women say “nobody’s perfect” they are about to do something heinous and are pre-excusing it

      Men, too. But mostly women.

  15. Lily says:

    can you give some examples of what you mean?

  16. Lily says:

    “when women say “nobody’s perfect” they are about to do something heinous and are pre-excusing it”
    I’m not..honest! Maybe I’m a special snowflake! Though I think it all the time so maybe I do heinous things all the time and don’t even realise it because I’m so heinous lol.

  17. asdf says:

    Pedestalization does enable this kind of callous disregard, but it is not a problem in and of itself. There is a reason boys are socialized to “respect” women, we have more physical power. In the past this used to serve as a bulwark against callous manipulation and deceit because domestic violence was somewhat more acceptable. Obviously I’m not advocating rash violence as a solution, but just like with children when things go too far there is a place for physical discipline. Not only is this the way nature made us, but women themselves respect physical power and it acts as check and balance to their power of emotional manipulation. Now that society has deemed it rightful to govern the home as well, men have been stripped of this power and women’s have full reign. I forget who said it, but there is an insightful quote somewhere that describes women’s skill at deceit as akin to the tusks on an elephant. Every creature is given a set of mechanisms to use in it’s defense. Men have physical power, women emotional manipulative power. That’s just the way it is.

  18. Jennifer says:

    Wow Morse, great piles of generalization manurel so much for spatial superiority in intelligence there. You two Gorb, what a nice pair.

    Dana, I’m amazed you were able to abstain from commenting to the old trampish vulture.

  19. Jennifer says:

    Geez, what a damn grammatical/spelling disaster my last comment was. Repost:

    Wow Morse, great piles of generalization manure; so much for spatial superiority in intelligence there. You too Gorb, what a nice pair.

    Dana, I’m amazed you were able to abstain from commenting to the old trampish vulture.

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